By Lynn A Moore
One of the most important contributions a dad can make to a child's recovery is being an equal partner in decision-making. Let's talk about what that means for your family.
Many families function in a traditional manner when it comes to meal preparation. Mom makes the food and the family sits down to eat. This is less true than it used to be for a variety of reasons; but it is still the norm.
If your child has anorexia then you need a different approach for the sake of your child's health. When using the Maudsley Approach, moms and dads are encouraged to make decisions together about what, how much and when your child will eat.
You work as a team in every decision you make regarding your child's health and recovery. The goal is to be in agreement before ever approaching your child. If you don't agree then don't do it. Talk about it, compromise; be willing to try things even if you think it won't work.
The next step in dads role is to help serve the meal and then sit beside your child with mom on the other side of her. Dads are just as involved as mom is in encouraging her to eat more than she wants to.
The pressure of having both parents on either side becomes too much for the eating disorder to handle. Your child will also feel the pressure of your persistent, loving, and firm direction.
She may finally feel like someone is standing up to ED; the bully in her mind. She will feel both terrified and relieved; though you won't hear about the relieved part for quite some time. Just like her dad protects her in other ways; he is stepping in and protecting her from ED and that is what she needs.
Dad, you are her protector and she needs it now more than ever. She just doesn't know it. She is desperate for both your strength and your tenderness. She needs your strength to protect her from the anorexia and your tenderness toward her.
Do you want to learn more about eating disorders?
If so, download my free e-book "Eating Disorder Basics for Parents" here http://www.why-my-daughter.com/edb.html
Lynn Moore educates, coaches, and consults parents on how to help their adolescent with eating disorder behavior. She will help you figure out what kind of help you need and what you can do to help your child.
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